He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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