so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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