You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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