I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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