I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize