Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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