I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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