Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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