Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize