first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Your dad touched me again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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