she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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