I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm bleeding and have questions
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize