so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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