my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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