We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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