I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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