I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
