I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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