I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
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i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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