lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize