Just fell off a train. Bad.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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