i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
where am i from again
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
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A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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