I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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