sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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