i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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