dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize