I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I have aggressive nipples.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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