wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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