You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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