what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
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I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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