I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
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So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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