Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize