some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
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does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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