Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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