Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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