my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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