If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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