well you can't waste a boner
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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