so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
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Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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