if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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