i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize