I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
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Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm bleeding and have questions
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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