wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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