why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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