When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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