I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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