people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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