You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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