So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
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So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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