I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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