so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
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so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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