Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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